


Lost without you

by sparkinmybonfireheart



Series: Colors of war [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Klaine, M/M, slight D/s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 08:07:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10382262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkinmybonfireheart/pseuds/sparkinmybonfireheart
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have finally found each other, but dark clouds are coming their way...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So... here's part 2, you guys. Hopefully you'll enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!
> 
> Warning: there's some slight D/S in here, but it's very light, no heavy stuff.
> 
> If you want to share your opinion: feel free to leave a comment.
> 
> As always: thank you Lynne for reading and editing, I really value your opinion! 
> 
> Enjoy!

When Kurt wakes at the break of dawn, it’s with a faint feeling of uneasiness. A harsh wind is tugging on the loose planks of his cabin and he sees tiny snowflakes tumbling down to the ground as he glances through the window. The darkness of the night hasn’t faded enough to let the morning light completely in yet. It seems cold outside. He’s still warm though, laying under the covers, his legs tangled with Blaine’s. He feels the soft thumping of Blaine’s heart where his head is resting on his chest. Kurt revels in the feeling of his cheek on Blaine’s skin and he presses a light kiss there. The other man stirs when he feels him moving. It makes Kurt slide a little closer. His fingers are warm where they lay on Blaine’s chest.

‘Hmm. Kurt?’ Blaine’s voice is hoarse from sleeping.

Kurt reaches a little higher and brushes his lips across Blaine’s stubble.

‘Shhh. Go back to sleep Blaine. It’s still dark out.’

‘Hmm.’ Blaine reaches out and tugs Kurt a little closer. He slowly rubs his back and whispers against his temple. ‘Did you sleep okay? Are you sore?’

Kurt just smiles at that and presses a soft kiss on Blaine’s cheek.

‘Hey. Go back to sleep. It’s still early.’ He feels Blaine’s grip on his back tightening.

‘Stay. Stay with me.’ His eyelashes flutter and then his honey colored eyes are on Kurt.

Kurt rests his chin on Blaine’s chest again and looks up at him. ‘Not going anywhere. Sleep some more.’ He keeps shifting though and it makes Blaine open his eyes again slowly.

‘What’s wrong, sweetheart?’

Kurt smiles at the endearment. He shrugs. ‘I don’t know. I have this feeling…’

This makes Blaine wake up immediately. ‘Do you… do you regret what we did? Do you…’

‘No, Blaine.’ Kurt captures his gaze and presses a kiss near Blaine’s heart without breaking eye contact. ‘I’ll never regret this. Ever. I’m so grateful.’ He smiles again, but he can’t hide the hint of sadness that flashes in his eyes.

‘Hey.’ Blaine moves again and brushes Kurt’s cheek. ‘What is it then?’

Kurt shakes his head. ‘I’m just being silly, I guess. It’s just… what you gave me last night, Blaine. That means so much to me. I mean…’ Another kiss. ‘You gave me your trust and you were so sweet and careful.’ He frowns. ‘I’m not used to that. It’s almost too much. I… is it stupid to be afraid now?’ He trails his fingers down Blaine’s jaw.

The way Blaine looks at him makes him shift a little closer still.

‘What are you afraid of, sweetie?’

Kurt shrugs. ‘None of the usual things, weirdly. I’m not scared we won’t have enough food to survive come winter or being attacked by soldiers or getting sick or anything like that. I’m not even scared they’ll figure it out.’ He gestures between them. ‘You and me.’

‘Then what?’

‘I’m afraid of something bigger, something darker.’ Kurt nuzzles Blaine’s neck and he feels Blaine’s fingers carding through his hair.

‘Now that I’ve found you, I’m afraid of losing you, Blaine.’ He tries to ignore the feeling of panic that is rising in his chest. He takes in a deep breath and inhales Blaine’s scent, trying to etch it into his memory.

‘I’m afraid darkness is coming.’

*

When the sun has risen enough to be sure Mercedes will be at the breakfast room providing at least something edible, Kurt leaves Blaine to get him something to eat. It’s cold out and the clouds are dark and heavy in the sky. It makes Kurt rush across the settlement, his face hidden in his coat, his scarf tight around him.

When he enters the small cabin where they usually eat in the mornings, the warmth envelopes him like a welcoming hug. He goes to the back, knowing Mercedes will already be there.

‘Oh, you already got a fire started! Oh, this is so good.’ He shrugs off his coat and holds out his hands to warm them at the stove.

‘You’re early.’ Mercedes rubs her eyes and yawns.

‘Didn’t sleep too good, did you?’ Kurt closes his eyes for a minute and basks in the warmth of the stove.

She sighs. ‘Damn storm. I hate sleeping alone when there’s a shit show going on outside.’

Kurt nods. ‘Yeah.’ His mind drifts and he thinks about Blaine. How good it felt to sleep next to him, to feel his warmth, his beating heart, right there beneath his tentative hands.

‘Kurt? You okay?’

‘Huh?’ He turns away from the warmth and takes a seat at the wooden kitchen table.

‘I asked if you wanted some oatmeal. It’s hot. I even got some sugar to go with it.’ Mercedes holds out a bowl and the smell is certainly tempting, but Kurt’s got some other place to be.

‘Oh, can I… uhm, I’ll take something to go?’

Mercedes raises her eyebrows. ‘Is that a question?’ Then she looks him up and down. ‘What’s up with you? Something’s up. You better tell me, Kurt.’

He bites his lips. Mercedes is his friend, right? Even when he tells her about this part of him, she’ll still be his friend, right?

‘Kurt.’ She puts her hand on her side and gives him a stern look. ‘Tell me.’

‘Uhm. Blaine.’ Kurt drums his fingers on the table and looks everywhere but at his friend now. ‘Me and Blaine.’ He clears his throat and studies the scratches on the tabletop. then he feels her hand on his arm.

‘Really?’

He looks up and nods.

Mercedes smiles at him. ‘Good for you.’

‘Yeah?’ He’s still a bit restless.

She squeezes his shoulder. ‘You’re not eating here then?’ She starts filling a paper bag with some tiny boxes.

‘No, I… I want to do this for him. He’s tired, Mercedes. He works too hard. I want to take care of him.’ There’s a faint blush on his cheeks. ‘You know, with the extra shifts he’s been doing, filling in for Jeff now that he’s been injured.’

Mercedes touches his arm again. ‘Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I think you’re being sweet.’ She hands him the bag. ‘Do you want…’

They hear the sudden sound of a shrieking horn to signal there are strangers trespassing their territory. Kurt freezes.

‘Strangers?’ His heart starts racing immediately. ‘Soldiers?’

Mercedes takes of her apron and hurries to put on her jacket. ‘I’ll go to Mike and Tina immediately. They’ll need help to secure our medical supplies.’

Kurt still stands frozen on the spot. Is this real or is it a false alarm again?

‘Kurt.’ Mercedes shaking his arm makes him snap back to reality and then there’s only one thing on his mind.

‘Blaine!’

*

Kurt rushes outside to check with whoever is blowing that horn on the watchtower to find out who exactly is approaching their home. He forgets to grab his jacket though and the freezing wind almost knocks him out cold when he goes outside.

‘God damn it!’ He runs back inside, snatches his jacket and hurries outside again. Just when he’s about to take a left at the end of the short row of cabins he hears it. The dull sound of a big horn. It’s code red, it means the enemy has arrived. He stops short, takes a deep breath and turns around again. He’s running in the opposite direction now, away from the tower and he passes Quinn, bow in hand, arrows ready.

‘Kurt? Where are you going? We need you on the tower!’ Her hair gets messed up in the icy wind and she hurriedly puts it in a bun while she keeps running.

He doesn’t acknowledge her. He can only think of one thing.

‘Kurt!’ He hears her shouting. ‘Get your bow and get your ass over here! I’ll meet you at the tower!’

Kurt keeps running while his feet glide on the icy ground. He can’t get to Blaine fast enough. It seems to take ages before he’s finally at the entrance of Blaine’s cabin. He starts shouting before he’s even in hearing’s distance.

‘Blaine! Blaine!’ He throws the door open and has to take a moment to catch his breath. His lungs seems to burst and for a moment he can only stand there, taking in large gulps of air. Luckily Blaine’s already up, putting his pants on, trying to close the buttons, but his fingers falter.

‘They’re here?’

Kurt can’t do anything but nod.

‘God.’ 

He hears the panic seeping through Blaine’s voice.

Kurt grabs Blaine’s sweater and jacket. ‘Here. Put your clothes on. Hurry! Cover yourself up as much as you can. Do you have a scarf? You’ve got to hide your face, Blaine! You’ve got to hide your colors as much as you can!’ He notices Blaine’s hands shaking.

‘Blaine.’ He hesitates, but he can’t not say it. ‘You’ve got to run.’ He helps him closing the buttons on his jacket. ‘Please run? It’s your only chance.’ He sees determination set on Blaine’s face.

‘I can’t do that, Kurt. I won’t leave you, any of you. We’ve got to fight back.’

Kurt shakes his head and puts his hand flat on Blaine’s chest. He feels his heart racing right beneath the fabric of his clothes. ‘No. Blaine. Please. When they see your colors, they’ll come after you for sure. When they see your tattoo… they’ll kill you.’ He grabs Blaine’s hand. ‘Blaine. Please.’ He hears the urgency in his own voice and he yanks Blaine closer. ‘Baby, please.’ His breathing is out of control again. When he touches Blaine’s face, it’s with shaky fingers.

Blaine bites his lips and puts his hands on each side of Kurt’s face, his thumbs slowly caressing his skin.

‘I can’t do that, sweetheart, you know that.’ He presses an urgent kiss on Kurt’s lips and it makes Kurt feel like he has lost already.

‘Come on.’ Blaine takes his swords out. ‘You got your bow?’

Kurt nods. He doesn’t go anywhere without it.

Blaine takes his hand and looks at him one more time. ‘We can do this, Kurt. Stay close?’

Kurt nods again, lost for words. Blaine tugs him outside and that’s when it begins.

*


	2. Chapter 2

An arrow speeds by right next to Kurt’s head.

‘Duck!’ Blaine is right beside him.

Kurt almost slips on the icy path.‘Get your swords out, Blaine, this is going to be ugly!’ He yanks Blaine a little closer and motions him to follow him. They keep low as they crawl in the general direction of the watchtower, as close to the cabins as they can. Kurt quickly crosses the path in front of them and presses himself against the brick stones of the water well.

‘Okay. Archers can’t reach us here. I’m not sure if the other soldiers already entered the gates.’ He quickly lifts himself up to glance at the gates as Blaine joins him.

‘Damn. I can’t see a god damn thing. There doesn’t seem to be anyone at the watchtower anymore though. So either the tower is taken and they attacked the gates or the person keeping watch is hiding out of sight. Either way, we can’t stay here. We have to find out what’s going on. Let’s try to get closer.’ 

Blaine nods. ‘Is Mercedes still in the breakfast room? Do we have to make sure she makes it out? Anyone who’s not trained to fight can still leave through the emergency gate.’

Kurt checks his arrows and tightens his bow. ‘No, she’s good. She went to help Mike and Tina to get the medical supplies. They probably left already.’

‘Okay.’ Blaine takes a deep breath. ‘Ready?’

Kurt closes his eyes for just a second. ‘Yeah.’

Suddenly Blaine grabs his hand. ‘Kurt?’

‘What?’

‘If we get separated… I…’

Kurt does not want to hear the end of that sentence. ‘Hey, I’ll see you in the woods, okay? You remember the meeting point, right?’

Blaine swallows. ‘Yeah, I do.’

‘Okay then.’ Kurt gives him a little squeeze. He’s trying to keep it together here. It takes all of his willpower not to take Blaine into his arms and get the hell out of here. ‘Blaine, don’t be a hero, okay? If it gets too dangerous, just bolt, okay? Get out.’

‘Yeah, okay.’ Blaine still won’t look at him.

‘Baby, please?’ Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and presses a light kiss on his fingers..

Blaine takes a deep breath. ‘Okay. Let’s go.’

They both sprint to a wooden barrel on their right, Kurt following right after Blaine. He knows Blaine has fought before, he clearly knows what he’s doing. It doesn’t help to get rid of the uneasy feeling in his stomach, though. He hears a shout and feels another arrow speeding by.

‘Blaine, straight ahead, then left!’ He points in the direction of the tower, where Quinn is clearly struggling to hold off the soldiers on the other side who are showering her with arrows. Blaine puts away one sword in the back of his belt and takes out a short knife. 

‘I’ll try to get closer by approaching from the other side. I’ll take their main archer out.’ He points at the man who’s standing at the verge of the tower, shooting one arrow after another. Then he looks around some more, trying to take in the situation.

‘You take the three guys at the gates as soon as I get the first one down. Take Quinn and Santana with you. If we can take them out, we’re a step closer to safety.’

Kurt nods once to make clear he understands, and he sees Blaine taking off in the other direction. Suddenly an overwhelming feeling of loneliness washes over him. He feels like he should grab Blaine, hold him close and never let him go anywhere without him ever again. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. What’s wrong with him? He never cared for other person’s company before. Damn. Must be winter tiredness. 

He pushes all those confusing thoughts out of his head and kneels a bit more, glancing around the corner of the well to check if the coast is clear. Two minutes later he’s sprinting towards Quinn to help her hold the defense at the wall. He tries to ignore the craving for Blaine that seems to be seeping through his veins.

*

Their defense doesn’t hold. Quinn gets shot in the shoulder and that’s when they lose their advantage at the tower.

When Kurt hears the loud noise of soldier boots approaching, he freezes. It’s what he dreams about at night, when rain is pouring on his roof and he mistakes the sound of the falling droplets for footsteps of the troops heading to his old village. It’s what he fears by day and sees in his unconsciousness by night until he wakes up screaming and disoriented, only now it’s real.

Santana shakes him out of his numb state.

‘Kurt, get a grip! Pay attention!’

‘Huh?’

She slaps his face and that’s what brings him back to the present.

‘Quinn is hurt. Mike is bringing her to safety, but we’re already six men down and counting. We won’t make it. We lost the tower, we can’t defend the camp, we’re outnumbered. Let’s get our people into safety and...well, we’ll just have to make a run for it.’

She takes another arrow and grabs her bow a little tighter. Her face is dirty and there’s some dried blood on her temple. She brushes her hair back.

‘We’ll try to make it to the emergency gate. We’ll do a quick sweep of the camp, taking everyone along who’s left behind. We’ll have to check the workshops, anyone who can’t fight and didn’t make it out already could be hiding there.’

Kurt follows her example and readies his bow. He nods. ‘Let’s do this.’

They keep low while trying to move as fast as they can, scanning all cabins as they walk past, trying to avoid the arrows that seem to be speeding by their heads constantly.

Kurt keeps looking back, but Blaine is nowhere in sight. He halts.

‘What’s wrong?’ Santana hisses. ‘We need to keep moving, Kurt, come on!’

He grabs her arm. ‘You gave the signal to retreat, right? You did blow the horn, didn’t you?’

‘Of course I did, why?’

He tries to keep the panic out of his voice. ‘Where’s Blaine?’

He notices the hesitation in her eyes.

‘We’ll see him at the meeting point. He must have taken another route.’

‘Santana.’

The edge in his voice makes her stop and look back.

‘Something’s not right. We have to go back.’

‘What? Kurt, we can’t turn back and go out there again, it’s a hellhole at the gates right now. We’ll get ourselves killed. Let’s go!’

‘Santana.’ His stormy eyes bore into hers. ‘Something’s wrong. I can feel it.’

‘I…’ She looks at him for a moment, weighing their options. ‘God damn it!’ She yanks at his jacket as she turns around. ‘Come on!’

*

When they arrive at the gates, there’s silence. They look at each other without uttering a word. Kurt points at the small door on the left side of the tower, it’s an entrance not only to the stairs, but to the path underneath as well. If Blaine got trapped defending the tower, he could be hiding there, outweighing his options to get out unharmed. Santana signals her understanding and looks around for snipers or soldiers keeping watch at the gained territory. There seems to be no one.

They’re about to move forward as Kurt suddenly sees movement in the corner of his eye. He turns and sees a shadow near the doctor’s cabin. He peers into the shallow light of the morning and suddenly he understands. Right in front of him at the other end of the courtyard is Blaine, half-carrying Jeff on his shoulder. Jeff, who’s been injured and can’t make it out on his own. Kurt looks at Santana as she grimaces and shakes her head.

‘What?’ He hisses.

She signals him to turn around. ‘We can’t make it!’

Kurt is about to run across the courtyard as she grabs him by his jacket again. She whispers in his ear while she points in front of her, peeking through the shallow light.

‘Two guards at the gate, at least four at the tower. We can’t cross without being seen, Kurt! We can’t help them now, we’ll come back for them later! If they hide, they can make it. We’ll just have to be patient, now let’s go!’

Kurt grabs his bow so tight his knuckles turn white. He tries to catch Blaine’s eye and keeps staring until their eyes lock. The intensity in Blaine’s gaze makes his heart clench, it almost makes his knees buckle. Blaine moves his head, telling them to make it out of there. Kurt nods almost imperceptibly, he swallows and slowly turns around. Santana’s already ahead of him, signaling to go right. Kurt turns around one more time and then it happens. Jeff’s still leaning on Blaine’s shoulder, but when they’re about to turn to disappear into the doctor’s cabin, he slips on the icy path and cries out in pain. Blaine freezes.

What comes next feels like a movie in slow-motion to Kurt. He sees three guards approaching from the tower and watches Blaine trying to hide as quickly as possible, dragging Jeff along with him. Jeff’s injury slows them down though and they don’t make it. The guards catch them easily, holding their arms behind their backs, making them sit down on their knees. He hears someone screaming and doesn’t understand Santana yelling at him until he realizes he’s the one doing it. He tries to get to Blaine, but two pair of hands are holding him back. He trashes and watches Brittany and Santana shouting at him but the words just don’t seem to seep in. He keeps struggling and yelling, exhausting his voice while two soldiers toss Jeff on some sort of a vehicle and two others drag Blaine along between them. Suddenly Mike is there who slaps him in the face. He gasps and the last thing he sees before he passes out is the look of panic on Blaine’s face.The last thing he feels is the sheer pain that shoots down his heart at the thought of Blaine being captured.

Then there’s only darkness.

*

When he wakes up, it seems to be dark again. He’s lying near a fire that casts long shadows on the surrounding trees and the sounds of the forest seem more threatening than before.  
He hears people talking quietly and while he tries to blink his eyes open he sees Quinn staring at him.

‘He’s up.’

Kurt sits up slowly. His head is pounding and his heart hurts like he suffered a heart attack.

‘Where are we?’

Tina appears in his line of sight.

‘We’re at the meeting point, honey. It’s okay, you’re safe now.’ He notices the lines of sorrow on her face.

His heart seems to shoot up in his throat and he almost gets sick.

‘Blaine?’

Tina shakes her head.

‘No, sweetie.’ She grabs his hand and squeezes. She tries to push him down again but he struggles to get up.

‘Blaine.’

Tina keeps holding his hand. ‘Kurt, try to get some rest, you’re in shock and you’re hurt. You got shot by an arrow when they… When you were shouting. You should get some rest.’

‘No, no…’ He starts sobbing. His head hurts like hell and there seems to be something wrong with his arm, but he has to get up, he has to get to Blaine, he has to…

Tina looks behind her. ‘Mike?’

Mike appears on his other side. ‘I’m sorry, Kurt.’

As Kurt’s fuzzy mind is wondering what Mike is sorry about, he feels the sting of a needle in his arm and the world gets blurry once again.


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine opens one eye, slowly. His head is pounding and his shoulder hurts like someone tried to rip his arm off his body. He tries to sit upright and groans at the feeling of bruises and scraps all over him. There’s a storm going on outside, the wind is howling. He feels sand under his fingers and he shifts on the floor, peeking through the darkness, trying to make out his surroundings. He seems to be in some kind of tent, there’s a rug on the floor and a bowl with food and a glass of water. When he crawls closer to the entrance and tries to peek outside, he immediately notices the soldiers on either side of the tent. They’re standing with their backs towards him, but he recognizes their posture, cold-blooded and dauntless.

His breathing speeds up and he tries not to think about the look of horror on Kurt’s face the moment they grabbed him and the raw scream he let out when they took him away. He tries to block it out of his mind, because if he doesn’t he’ll lose it completely and he can’t, not now. He has to find a way to get out of here. He has to find a way back to Kurt.

*

‘Why is he trembling like that? Does he have a fever?’

Mike shakes his head slowly. ‘No, it’s not that, Tina.’

‘Then what is it?’ She studies Kurt’s face and tries to make sense of it all. Kurt is still resting by the fire, but he’s quivering all over. His movements are restless in his sleep and his face seems contorted with pain.

Suddenly Mike grabs her by the shoulder and whispers. ‘Promise me you won’t tell anyone.’ His voice is urgent.

‘I won’t.’ His nervous gestures make her worry. ‘I won’t, Mike, what is it?’ Her eyes get wide. ‘It’s not contagious, is it?’

He sighs and starts talking while keeping his voice down. ‘Of course, it’s not. You don’t have to worry about that. I think… I think it’s Blaine.’ His brown eyes seem to hold a wisdom Tina can’t understand.

She looks at him as if he’s got the fever instead of Kurt.

‘What?’

Mike keeps talking in a hushed tone, his words silent, but measured. ‘Tina, listen to me. Kurt and Blaine are together now. I think that’s what this is. Kurt has withdrawal symptoms now they’re not physically together.’

Tina stares at him for a minute. ‘You mean they have bonded?’

‘Yeah.’

She laughs. ‘Mike. That’s a fairytale, you know that right? It’s a story they tell little children to help them sleep at night and make them think better of this world. It’s not a real thing.’ She tilts her head. ‘Right?’

Mike looks around and comes a little closer. ‘It’s not just some little bedtime story, Tina, it’s true. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I’ve known two girls who bonded, back when I was in middle school. It was the most extraordinary thing. I mean…’ He shrugs. ‘That was love right there.’

He takes a deep breath. ‘When I saw Kurt and Blaine, how they interacted… I knew I saw something like that before. I know it’s very rare, but it does happen.’

‘Wait, you saw two girls bonding? How did you even know? What happened? Didn’t they hide it? Did they… are they still alive?’ Confusion is written all over her face.

Mike rubs his eyes and looks at her, shoulders slumped. ‘Did I ever tell you I have a sister?’

*

Tina looks at him dumbfounded.

‘You have a sister? Your sister bonded with a girl? Your parents…’

‘Yeah, there’s a reason we never talk about her.’

Tina sighs. ‘Why do people keep hating like that? Why? I mean, it’s only love, how bad can it be?’’

‘It will keep happening as long as they don’t understand, Tina.’ Mike looks at her, eyes full of a sentiment she never suspected to see there. ‘People who hate, hate out of fear. They fear the unknown. As long as they don’t understand what’s happening, they’ll keep fearing it.’ He rubs his eyes and pokes at the fire. Little sparks shoot up and the light snow makes the fire sizzle.

Tina tilts her head. ‘Then why do people keep doing what they do? Loving who they love? I mean, I don’t have a problem with it, but, let’s keep it real here, people are being killed because of it. Why not stop, why hasn’t nature put a stop to it? Natural selection and all that.’ She throws a little stick in the fire and rubs her hands together. It’s freaking cold out here.

Mike touches her arm lightly. ‘It’s because it is our nature.’

She doesn’t understand. ‘What is?’

‘Love. It’s in our nature to love and there just isn’t a right or wrong way to do it. As long as you don’t hurt anyone while doing it….’ Mike spreads his hands. ‘As long as it’s consensual, there’s nothing wrong with loving another person. There is no wrong way to love. I mean, look at Kurt and Blaine. When I see them, I don’t see two guys doing stuff nature hasn’t intended them to. I see two people who are good for one another. They’re better together than they are apart, because they love each other, they care for each other. I’ve seen them trying to fight it, trying to hold back, but why would they do that? They make each other feel good, there’s nothing wrong with that.’ 

He stares into the fire, a frown on his face. ‘I wish I had that, you know, someone who lifts you up, makes you a better person than you could ever be on your own. Someone to comfort you, to hold you, to pick you up when you’re getting down. Someone to share things with.’ He suddenly lifts his head, his eyes wide with shock like he just said so much more than he intended to.

Tina smiles softly. ‘You’ve clearly given this some thought.’ She carefully touches his fingers. ‘You’re gentle and understanding Mike. You’re an open and kind person.’ She chances to look right at him. ‘I love that about you.’

He looks down, suddenly shy. ‘We just have to keep quiet, for their safety, okay? We also have to keep Kurt safe, until Blaine gets back. We’ve got to keep an eye on him. This fever-like thing won’t pass on its own. Just keep your mouth shut to anyone else okay?’

She nods slowly. ‘Even Quinn?’

Mike thinks about it for a minute. ‘I guess we can tell Quinn, Santana for sure, other than them, not a word, okay?’

‘So what do we do to help Kurt?’

Mike sighs again. ‘We keep him warm. Safe. When Blaine gets back, he’ll get healthy again.’

Tina hesitates. ‘Mike? How do we even know Blaine is still alive?’

‘He is.’

‘How do you know?’ She frowns.

Mike keeps poking at the fire. ‘Because Kurt still has a fever.’

‘So if something happens to Blaine…’

Mike nods. ‘We’ll know.’

*

Blaine shivers in his thin clothes and tries to keep warm by shifting close to the fire and rubbing his hands. He didn’t exactly have time to dress for the weather this morning, bolting out of bed so suddenly, not able to think clearly while being scared out of his mind. When he heard the horn blow, his blood ran cold and his brain seemed to shut down.

Then there was Kurt. Beautiful Kurt who asked him to run and god, he wanted to, he wanted to take Kurt with him and never look back again. They couldn’t do that though, they couldn’t just leave their friends unprotected and fighting all on their own. Blaine knows Kurt is an excellent archer and he himself knows how to handle his swords and knives, so them staying did make a difference. It just wasn’t enough.

He coughs and watches the little puffs of air leaving his mouth when he breathes. God damn cold. He just hopes nobody else besides him and Jeff got captured. He knows some people of the settlement got hurt, he tries not to think about people getting killed.

The front of the tent rustles, but by the time he turns around no one’s there anymore. There’s a fresh bowl of soup, though, and it seems to be warm, judging by the steam coming off of it. He shuffles closer and decides to drink it, starving himself won’t help anyone. He wonders though: why are they feeding him and why haven’t they killed him yet? He couldn’t exactly hide his colors once they’d captured him. 

He sips the hot soup and while he swallows he tries to ignore the ache in his heart that is somehow hurting more than the ache in his shoulder. He blocks out all images of Kurt, it just hurts too much. He can’t let the thoughts of his lover enter his mind, because if he does that, he’s lost and he wants to make it out alive.

*

‘Kurt.’ Quinn touches his arm. She should have known better.

‘I’m fine!’ Kurt is sharpening some arrows in front of his cabin, trying to ignore the pounding headache that has been hunting him for two days now. He’s still feverish and weak, his muscles aching. He tries to numb his mind, but Quinn touching him makes him think about Blaine. He can’t think about Blaine. He’ll fall apart. He’s too close to the edge already. 

‘Kurt.’

‘I said I’m fine, Quinn.’

He strides to the door of his cabin, yanks it open and disappears inside, unaware of Santana’s attentive eyes following him.

They’ve returned to their settlement for now, for it seems the soldiers took off and it’s highly unlikely that they’ll attack the same settlement twice in such a short time. They’ll have to sit down and talk about their future, though, it’ll probably be unsafe to stay here in the long run now that they’ve been discovered. The soldiers could always decide to come back, they wouldn’t have any peace of mind ever again, staying here. Kurt doesn’t want to think about that yet though, he doesn’t want to leave. For now, he stays, because leaving would mean abandoning Blaine and he can’t do that. He wants to find him, track him down and free him, even if it will cost him his life, but he’ll have to wait just a few days more. His injuries aren’t healed yet, he would get himself killed going after Blaine like this, especially in this freaking cold.

When he gets inside his cabin he manages to open his coat, but he can’t get it off. His heart is racing and he just can’t still his shaking hands. He lets his hands drop to his knees and tries to slow down his breathing, but he’s panting and he can’t stop. He hears creaking and then a faint wind enters the room.

‘Kurt.’

He closes his eyes.

‘Kurt.’

Santana touches his shoulder and suddenly it’s too much. It starts in the pit of his stomach and it travels up, up until he can’t keep it in any longer. His whole body shakes as he starts crying, shoulders hunched, head down. It feels as if his emotions finally shoot up his throat all at once. He tries to bite back the urge to vomit.

‘Kurt, it’s okay. It’s okay, just let it out.’ Santana’s voice is soothing, but it’s a sound Kurt doesn’t care to hear right now. It’s not her voice he needs to hear.

He feels his legs give out and then he’s on the floor, wailing.

‘Blaine. Blaine.’ His body keeps shaking. ‘I need Blaine.’

Santana’s heart hurts looking at him. She grabs him, arms around his chest and holds him close.

‘I need Blaine. Need him so much.’ Kurt grabs Santana’s hands and holds on like they’re a lifeline. He’s drowning.

‘I know honey, I know, it’s okay.’

‘It’s not. It’s not. I need him. It hurts.’

Santana slowly rocks back and forth. ‘I know, hush now, I know.’

He cries until he can’t anymore. His stomach and throat hurt and he feels fuzzy as he finally gives in and lays his head on Santana’s lap.

She keeps caressing his head, carding her fingers through his hair and it makes him think of Blaine and how he cared for him the night they slept together. He can’t cry anymore, he just hasn’t got any energy left, so he lets out a broken sound that makes Santana look at him with worry.

‘Kurt.’ Her grip on his hand gets tighter. ‘Kurt. We got this. We’re going to get him back. We will. I…’

He suddenly looks up. ‘No promises.’ His voice is rough, his eyes empty. It makes Santana look away.

‘You need to sleep, Kurt. You’ll get sick. You’ll need your strength.’ Then she sits up. ‘Come on, honey. Get up. Get in bed. Help me out a little here, I can’t carry you, you’re too heavy.’

She tugs at him a little until he gets up, only to sprawl out on his bed again.

At the door she turns around. ‘No stupid stuff, okay?’

Kurt seems to sleep already.

‘Hummel, I said…’

‘Okay.’ It’s a faint whisper, but it’s there and it’s enough. As Santana leaves the cabin, she heads straight to Brittany who’s been waiting outside the whole time. She takes her hand.

‘I’ll hunt those soldiers down and get him his man back, even if it’s the last thing I’ll ever do.’

Brittany smiles. ‘We’re going on a search for our unicorn?’

Santana grips her bow as a look of determination hardens her face. ‘Damn right we are.’

*


	4. Chapter 4

Santana spreads out the map on the table. ‘We’re right about here.’ She points her finger without hesitation. Kurt’s got a mean headache and his vision is still blurry. He has no clue if she’s even remotely right and he hasn’t got the energy to check right now. 

‘If we think about the possibility that these soldiers needed to report back to someone or get new supplies and food, they might have gone back to the city. However, I’ve heard they often go weeks without returning to their camp and commanding officer, so they might as well have gone in the opposite direction…’ Her finger slides a little further. ‘...further back into the woods.’ She looks around, eyes questioning. ‘Any thoughts?’

Mike sighs. ‘We basically don’t have a clue where they might have gone.’

Tina elbows him in the side and throws a look towards Kurt. ‘Can’t we get some more information? Other settlements nearby who might have seen something, know something?’

Santana shakes her head. ‘We can’t risk that and you know it. They might sell us out for all we know. Besides, even if they know something and they mean well, they’re probably too scared to slip us any information.’ She looks at her friends. ‘There must be something. Anything. Anyone. Mercedes?’

‘I’m sorry, Santana. Wouldn’t know the first thing about soldiers or anything fight-related. I don’t know anyone who can help us either.’

‘Nick?’

The boy shakes his head. ‘We don’t know anything about this region, you guys. Before we came here we were already far from home, lost and injured and we’ve been with you ever since. We just explored the surroundings of the camp, but that doesn’t help us out here at all.’

A deafening silence washes over them.

Then Brittany breaks the silence. ‘I do.’ She stares at Quinn and tilts her head. ‘I do.’

Quinn doesn’t seem to need much more of an explanation. 

‘Oh no. No, you don’t.’

Santana’s eyes flash from Brittany to Quinn, her eyes wide with understanding. Then her face hardens. ‘You know he can help us, Quinn.’

‘No. Just… no.’

‘You know I’m not his biggest fan either, but he’s a great tracker and there’s no one else who knows this woods as he does. ’

Quinn grabs on to her sword tightly. ‘You’re not asking my ex who’s deceived and betrayed me multiple times, to help us find a friend who happens to be taken by government soldiers! Especially not when that friend is…’ Her gaze shifts to Kurt. ‘...uhm, special.’

Santana’s jaw is set. ‘As I see it, it’s our only option.’ She bites her lip. ‘You have to help us Quinn, you’re the only one who can find him in this maze of leaves and branches.’

Kurt still feels dazed and he has the impression he can’t contribute a single damn thing to the discussion. 

Then Quinn slams her fist on the table. ‘I won’t do it! There has to be another way. I just won’t do it!’

*

Quinn hacks with her knife through the thick curtain of branches and twigs. ‘He better be polite or I’ll chop him to pieces.’

Tina chuckles quietly behind her. She whispers into Mike’s ear. ‘Though Quinn has the war colors in this group of people, Santana can still be quite scary and convincing when she wants to be.’

Mike grins and winks at her.

Quinn grumbles and keeps chopping. ‘I totally heard that!’ She pauses for a moment and her friends wait patiently behind her. Quinn is the only one who knows where to find Noah, her ex; so she’s been leading the way for the past three hours or so. The temperature is still below zero, but the.effort of walking hours on end has made them all tired and sweaty.

Tina passes water and snacks and they all start chatting away. Kurt leans quietly against a tree though.

‘Hey.’ Santana touches his arm. ‘You okay?’

Kurt closes his eyes for a second and attempts a faint smile. ‘I just want him back, San.’

She notices the dark circles under his eyes and the sheen of sweat on his forehead. 

‘I know.’

They share a look that contains much more than either one would like to admit.

‘Okay, guys. Time to move on.’ Quinn starts chopping again and the whole group gets in motion once again.

It’s only ten minutes later Quinn stands still again and tilts her head as if to listen to something none of them have heard so far. The leaves of the trees and bushes are quietly rustling in the icy wind. Now and then they hear an animal making some sounds in the distance.

‘Mike.’ She whispers. ‘Can you still do that birdy thing?’

He nods and starts whistling in a certain way. They hear some kind of chirp in return and apparently that’s all Quinn needs.

‘We’re good to go.’ Her expression turns all moody again and she turns around for a brief moment. ‘I told you San, if he doesn’t at least attempt to be a decent guy, I’m out of here in seconds!’

Santana just shrugs and starts walking, a determined look on her face.

 

*

Blaine rolls around on his mattress of leaves, trying to get some rest as it seems they’re not immediately going to rip him to pieces. He can’t though, he’s restless. His heart literally hurts. He feels like there’s a giant hole in his chest, it aches like a wound that doesn’t seem to heal. He doesn’t understand. He was hurt when they captured him, but it wasn’t that bad. Maybe it’s stress related.

He hears the tent rustling again and he doesn’t bother turning around, as they probably disappear as soon as he tries to catch a glimpse of whoever is hiding out there.

This time he hears someone coughing though. He turns his head and his eyes go wide when he suddenly recognizes the person in front of him. It can’t be. Can it? He squints against the bright light that blinds him for a second the moment another person walks in. 

He can’t do anything but gape at the man in front of him. He swallows roughly and tries to wrap his mind around the unexpected situation.

‘Uh. C…’

The man slaps him in the face and Blaine doesn’t understand. What on earth is going on here? He decides to try again. 

‘C…’

Another slap, his fist this time. Blaine sees black spots in front of him, but he manages not to pass out. Blood seeps out of a scratch on his cheek and he scrambles backwards.

‘No talking prisoner.’ The man puts his hands behind his back and starts pacing, as far as the tent allows him too. 

Blaine still can’t believe it. ‘But …’ Another slap. 

‘Quiet!’

Another fist in his face and this time he does black out. The last thing he manages to think of before losing consciousness, is what he did exactly to deserve this punishment and why the hell his brother is hauling with the enemy. 

*

‘So...you’re with us, or what?’ Quinn eyes her ex with a frown on her face and an expression that doesn’t need any explanation to make very clear that she’d rather be anywhere but here, asking this favor.

Noah leans against the wall, peeling some kind of fruit, putting small pieces into his mouth now and then. He shrugs. ‘I haven’t got the faintest idea why I would risk my life strolling through the woods, tracking soldiers I haven’t got any hardship with or have even come across, trying to find a camp I’m not really sure exists, to save a guy I’ve never met. Two guys for that matter.’ He grins. ‘You’re still beautiful, but you’re not that beautiful, sweetheart.’

Quinn’s eyes shoot daggers, but Santana steps in.

‘Everyone out.’ She looks around. ‘Now.’ She motions at the rickety door and turns her back at her friends. They slowly move towards the door, leaving one by one, not sure if it’s safe to leave her. ‘I said go!’ She snarls. ‘We’re wasting time here.’

As soon as they have left, her demeanor changes.

‘Noah.’ She takes a seat on the nearby table. ‘We really need your help, okay? Forget about Quinn for a minute. I get that she’s your ex and her presence maybe makes it difficult for you to hear us out and it clouds your judgment, but we do need your tracking skills. We won’t find them without you. We won’t find him without you and we really need to.’

Noah squints his eyes. ‘Why? What’s so special about this guy? Why does Quinn wants to find him so badly?’

Santana takes out her knife and starts sharpening it. She carefully avoids Noah’s eyes while talking. She knows he’ll need time to process.

‘It’s not Quinn. It’s Kurt.’

He hesitates. ‘Hummel?’ He coughs. ‘Explain.’

Santana keeps working while she talks. ‘Blaine came to us a few months ago with some other Dalton boys. You’ve just met Nick. Jeff, his friend, is captured too. Kurt avoided them like the plague.’ Santana waves her hands. ‘You’ve seen Nick’s war colors.’

Noah nods. He knows Kurt’s background.

‘Blaine’s a special one though. He’s kind and warm, he’s generous and sweet.’

Noah huffs. ‘Gee, sounds like a real heartbreaker.’

Santana silences him with a sharp glare.

‘They eventually got talking. They clicked. Blaine made Kurt smile again, Noah, you know how long it’s been since I saw him smile? Even Beth could tell Kurt was doing better again.’ Noah’s back straightens at the mentioning of his daughter. 

‘Where is she?’

‘Beth? Brittany stayed at the camp to take care of her.’ Santana searches Noah’s face.

‘Okay. Go on.’

‘Blaine made Kurt feel at ease again. He seemed more relaxed, more open. Blaine cares for Kurt. He makes sure he eats and rests. He gets him to talk. He’s very caring and genuine. He’s also a warlord.’

Noah’s eyes shoot up. He frowns. ‘He’s a warlord and you want to go look for him? You want to save him? Why? You’ve got a death wish I didn’t know about? It’s too dangerous San and you know it! Leave him. I’m sure there will be other people who can be there for Kurt.’

Santana shakes her head. ‘Not like Blaine.’

‘What do you mean?’ Noah frowns.

Santana stands up and looks around. ‘You haven’t got anything to drink in here? Jeez, it’s hot in this joint.’

Noah pulls her back by the arm. ‘Why would you even consider going after a warlord if he’s captured? It’s fucking dangerous, you’ll get yourself killed. What aren’t you telling me, San? What has Kurt really got to do with all of this?’

Santana has always known about Noah’s protective instincts kicking in when it comes to Kurt. She’ll just have to gamble and take her chances he’ll be more protective than he’ll be judgmental. 

‘They’re together.’

Noah freezes. ‘What do you mean?’ 

She finally looks at him. Noah slowly shakes his head. ‘What do you mean, Santana?’ 

She gives him a stern look. ‘You know what I mean.’

He swallows. ‘That’s illegal.’

She rolls her eyes. ‘Jesus, Noah, it’s illegal to sing and dance, it’s illegal to make a fire in the woods, it’s illegal to have a mind of your own. Everything’s illegal nowadays, not to mention you’re doing at least half of it. That doesn’t mean nobody else can. Besides, what are you afraid of here? Really man, grow a pair!’

He turns his back at her. Santana secretly crosses her fingers. Please don’t freak out.

‘I’m counting on you, Noah. You’ve always had Kurt’s back, don’t turn yours on him now. I’ll give you a moment to gather your gear. Meet me in five at the front door.’

She slowly backs away and goes outside. It’s all she can do. Now they just have to wait. Tina, Mike, Kurt, Quinn and Nick all look at her expectantly when she comes out of the cabin. She shrugs. ‘Five minutes and we’ll know if we’re doing this with or without the douchebag.’

*


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine slowly opens his eyes and immediately gets aware of a pounding headache that’s wrecking his brain. 

‘Ugh.’ 

‘Ah, so you are still alive.’ His brother’s voice seems too loud to his ears. Blaine squints and tries to focus. Everything still looks a little fuzzy. Cooper looks at him expectantly.

‘You’re awake now, Blainey?’

Blaine furrows his brow. ‘What the fuck, Coop! What’s going on? Why are you using my head as a punching bag? What are you doing here? Are you some kind of prisoner too? Please don’t tell me you’re on their side now. You can’t be.’ He groans. ‘And do tell me you’ve got some medicine nearby, because my head is killing me right now.’

Cooper smiles at him and lightly touches his shoulder.

‘It’s good to see you, little bro. I’m really glad you’re doing okay.’

Blaine huffs. ‘Being captured behind enemy lines, getting my teeth knocked out by my own brother is not exactly what I would call ‘doing okay’, but hey, opinions differ, don’t they?’

Cooper quickly glances behind him. ‘Look, Blaine, I’m sorry for punching you earlier, they just couldn’t discover we’re related or even know each other. As much as I would love to chat and catch up right now, we don’t really have the time. The guards are coming back in ten minutes and I need to run the key information by you to get you up to speed. So… you’re focused and listening? I really need your full attention right now.’

Blaine straightens up at that and looks at his brother intently. There’s a look on his face that screams determination and fierceness and it captures Blaine’s attention.

‘I’m listening.’

Cooper nods. ‘Okay. Since you left I kind of climbed the social ladder. Long story short: I’m a well respected senator by now and I try to get on the good side of the bad guys to secretly help the rebels out.’ He smiles a shaky smile. ‘I’m so glad you’re still alive, Blaine, you have no idea. I’ve looked for you for all this time, hoping you would be doing okay.’   
He clears his throat. ‘Nobody here knows you’re my brother, they think you’re just another warlord being captured, ready to take the fall without surrendering by swearing his allegiance to the enemy. You have to keep your mouth shut, about all the stuff I just told you and especially about you being my brother. As soon as I have the chance, I’ll get you out. I want you to go to a camp that is in hands of the rebels, It’s not too far from here, a four day walk.’   
He takes a deep breath. ‘I won’t see you for a while after you make it out, but it’s for both our safety. If you feel up to it, you can get in touch with my contact at the safe camp and you can get on board with the rebels and the work we’re doing trying to take down the current regime.’ He sighs. ‘God knows we’ll need all the help we can get.’

Blaine shivers. He’s cold again. ‘What do I need to do?’

Cooper slides him a small note. ‘These are the coordinations of the camp. Just lay low for now, I’ll let you know when the time is right and either me or one of my men will get you out. You’ll have a small pack to take with you with some gear and food, enough to take you to the other camp. It’ll probably be after dark when I come to you, to keep the risk at exposing you to a minimum.’

Blaine nods. He’s been there before, he knows the drill.

‘What about Jeff?’

‘He’s in a tent nearby. Same treatment. You know the procedure when it comes to capturing outcasts with war colors. I’ve managed to convince them not to kill you both, because you could provide some useful information. Jeff’s already up to speed, he’ll be coming with you.’

‘Thanks Coop.’

‘Yeah...you look different.’ His brother eyes him carefully. ‘You’re not some scared little boy anymore, Blaine, I can tell.’

Blaine looks down. He’s been through so much these past few months. He had to grow up fast. Really fast. He shivers again.

Cooper squints his eyes. ‘Hey, you okay?’ He notices the sweat on Blaine’s forehead. ‘Blaine, are you sick? Do you have a fever?’

He tries to come closer, but Blaine scoots back. ‘No, Coop, it’s fine. I’m fine.’ 

Cooper isn’t one to take no for an answer though. He touches Blaine’s forehead.

‘God, Blaine, you’re burning up! Why didn’t you tell me you’re ill? I’ll try to get you some medicine.’

Blaine sighs. ‘Coop, no, that’s not necessary. Well...maybe for the headache, but the fever...it’s okay.’’

‘I can get it, really, I’ll just have to get to the medic and…’

Blaine looks at his brother, who cares so much for him, he thinks about Kurt for a split second and finally it all clicks. ‘Cooper, really, don’t, it won’t.. it won’t help…’

‘What? Of course it will, it…’ Then Cooper notices Blaine’s faint blush underneath his pale skin.

‘Oh.’ He hesitates. He takes in Blaine’s shaky hands, the sheen of sweat on his face, the fidgeting of his fingers. ‘You met someone, didn’t you?’

Blaine looks away, but he nods.

‘What’s his name?’

Blaine’s eyes go wide at that. ‘His name? You...you know?’  
’  
Cooper huffs. ‘Blaine, I’m your brother, of course I know. I can be somewhat oblivious sometimes, but I’m not stupid!’

‘You’re okay with… with that?’ He bites his lips.

Cooper squeezes his shoulder. ‘Blainey, I love you. I don’t care who you sleep with, as long as they treat you right.’ He smiles. ‘He treats you right?’

Blaine closes his eyes for a minute. ‘He does.’

‘Okay. You’ll need to get to him as soon as you can.’ He gestures vaguely. ‘With the fever and all.’

Blaine fidgets at his blanket. ‘Will it get easier in time? Not being together?’

‘Yeah. It will. I’m not gonna lie to you though, I’ve seen this before: it won’t always be easy, for either of you.’ Cooper stares at him for a few seconds. ‘Is he worth it?’

Blaine swallows and nods. ‘He’s everything.’

*

Quinn keeps an eye on Noah while he’s making his way through the woods, looking at certain signs, inspecting trees and tracks on the ground, doing what he does to track somebody down.

She notices the solemn expression on his face and the decisiveness of his movements and she knows he’ll do anything in his power to help Kurt and track Blaine and Jeff down.

She’s been cold and distant towards him and she knows it, but she just can’t help it. He brings out the best and the worst in her. He always did. 

The evening is almost falling and Quinn knows they’ll have to stop and make camp soon. Another day in Noah’s presence. All these emotions are wearing her out.   
Mike is a soothing presence, walking beside her. He follows her gaze.

‘Hey. Penny for your thoughts?’

She just smiles at him.

He understands. ‘You miss him?’

‘Every day.’ She shrugs. ‘We couldn’t be together, Mike. We were a mess. We’re better off apart, even if we do have Beth.’

They keep walking in a quick pace, avoiding branches that sweep in their faces.

‘You still love him, don’t you.’

Quinn avoids his gaze now. Mike notices her eyes glisten.

‘I’m sorry Quinn, I didn’t mean to make you sad.’

She carefully steps over some thorny bushes. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.’ 

Suddenly Noah stops and hold up his hand. They all stand still immediately, listening carefully to the sounds of the forest. Noah turns around and addresses them quietly. 

‘I believe we’re nearing their camp. So no talking except when really necessary. I’m not sure it’s needed, but…’

Nick frowns. ‘What do you mean?’

Noah looks at them one by one and hesitates. ‘I think they already left.’

‘What?’ Santana steps a little closer. 

‘I think the camp is abandoned. I see traces they’ve been here, but… I think they’ve moved on.’

Kurt keeps very quiet, trying to stave of the panic that’s rising up his chest.

Nick asks what they’re all thinking. ‘Will we find...casualties?’

Suddenly they hear some branches breaking and someone steps into their line of sight. ‘No, you won’t.’

They all take out bows and knives as fast as they can, except for Kurt who seems frozen to the spot.

The tall man in front of them holds up his hand. ‘Whoa now, don’t kill me yet.’

Nick steps out behind Tina and looks the man up and down. ‘Cooper?’

Noah looks at him in confusion. ‘Who the fuck is Cooper?’

The man in front of him reaches out his hand. ‘That would be me. Cooper Anderson, nice to meet you.’

Noah discards him completely. Santana moves closer. 

‘Anderson, as in…’

Nick interrupts her. ‘Blaine Anderson. He’s his brother.’ He rushes into Cooper’s direction and hugs him tight.

‘Nick, it’s so good to see you man.’ Cooper ruffles his hair and smiles at him. 

The others still look quite confused, gaping at the man in front of them. 

Cooper lets his gaze roam over all of them until it finally rests on Kurt. He takes in the boy’s demeanor, his fidgeting hands, his restless eyes, the sheen of sweat all over his skin.

‘Kurt?’ His voice is soft.

Kurt just swallows and looks at him. Cooper comes closer and envelopes him in a hug. He whispers in his ear. ‘Blaine’s fine. He’s okay. You’ll be with him soon, don’t worry.’ 

Kurt grabs on to him tightly. It’s all he can do not to slide to the ground and start sobbing violently.

In the meantime Nick smiles at all of them reassuringly. ‘It’s okay, you guys, you can lower your weapons, Cooper’s okay. He’s not going to hurt us.’ 

Quinn is not quite convinced yet, though.

‘What are you doing here? Where’s Blaine and Jeff? The soldiers? Have they moved on? Are they hurt?’ She scowls at him. ‘You better start talking, mister.’

Cooper doesn’t let go of Kurt, but he does gesture at them all to sit down. ‘I’ll tell you everything you need to know.’

*

‘So, you’re not coming with us?’ Nick tries to hide his disappointment, looking at Cooper.

‘I can’t Nick, I’m sorry. I don’t want to raise any suspicions. I already explained to Blaine it would be in both our best interest of we don’t see each other for a little while. I’ll get to the camp as soon as I safely can, though, you’ve got my word, okay?’

Nick sighs. ‘Okay.’

Cooper claps him on the shoulder. ‘You’ll be fine, man, say hi to Blaine and Jeff for me. You should be able to find them without any problem, using the coordinates I gave you guys. They should be half a day ahead of you, so you’ll find them soon. Be careful in the dark. I know you want to get to them as fast as you can, but… try to get a few hours of sleep tonight too, okay? And if you do find them...try not to spook them too much.’ He laughs. 

They all gather round, checking their gear once more before moving on. 

Noah approaches Cooper hesitantly. ‘How did you know to wait for us? How did you know we were coming?’

Cooper takes him in. He sees the rough exterior, the worn out clothes, the tough attitude. He also notices the soft look in his eyes though and he smiles at him. 

‘I knew his friends would come after him, to try and save him.’

Noah still isn’t convinced. ‘How did you know? All his Dalton friends could be dead and gone for all you know.’

Cooper looks at him intently. ‘I knew because of the fever.’ Noah looks up at that. Cooper doesn’t let his gaze linger. His eyes stay firmly on Noah’s.

‘I know you’ve noticed too, Noah. I’ve seen you hovering around Kurt to keep an eye on him. I knew even if Blaine’s friends couldn’t get to him, his lover somehow would.’

Noah fidgets at his knife. He doesn’t know what to say. Cooper takes his hand firmly in his. ‘Take care of them, okay? I know you’re not always around, but I know you’ll get to them when they’ll need you.’

Noah gives him a sharp nod. ‘I will.’

*


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt knows they must be approaching Blaine and Jeff and he’s getting more anxious by the minute. He tries to still his trembling hands, he tries to slow down his beating heart, but it’s all in vain and he’s getting afraid he’ll start hyperventilating any minute now. 

Mike walks right next to him and throws him a sideways glance. ‘Any minute now. We’ll be there any minute now.’ He’s careful not to touch Kurt.

Kurt nods and keeps putting one foot in front of the other. They’ll get there eventually.

A few minutes later the trees aren’t as close together anymore and suddenly they’re in a clearing in the forest. All at once the world seems to somehow buzz all around Kurt, he can’t hear clearly anymore. He can’t seem to see sharply anymore. There’s too much detail, too much noise, too much. 

He feels more than he sees his friends passing him by, running to Jeff, hugging him and clapping him on the back. A small fire is burning and he watches Jeff’s relieved face and the cut near his eyebrow that seems to have bled quite badly. 

Then his gaze wanders a little further and he sees a familiar curly head. Blaine is standing by the fire, poking around in it and he turns around as he hears them coming. His gaze is searching and when he notices Kurt, who’s standing on the verge of the clearing, rooted to the spot, his whole demeanor changes. He seems to freeze at first, but then he drops the stick he was holding and audibly gulps in some air. He walks slowly in Kurt’s direction, his face telling a story all of it’s own. Kurt sees all of his emotions mirrored in it. He can’t move.

When Blaine is close enough he shakily grabs Kurt’s hand and they just watch each other. Kurt notices all the cuts and bruises on Blaine’s face, the way he holds his leg a little stiff as if it’s hurting. He feels paralyzed.

Then Blaine presses his forehead against his and Kurt feels him trembling. Blaine’s skin is hot and he’s sweaty and god, he must have had a fever just like his all these days. Kurt feels wet tears leaking onto his shirt and he knows Blaine tries to contain himself, feeling his muscles strain where he has grabbed him by the arm.

‘Kurt…’ Blaine’s voice is strangled. His hand comes up Kurt’s neck and his fingers tangle in his hair.

Kurt feels Blaine’s shoulders trembling and he realizes he’s crying hard by now. 

‘Blaine.’

Blaine slides down his body and drops to his knees on the cold, dirty ground. He presses his head against Kurt’s legs and holds on tight. He’s sobbing and he just can’t stop.

Kurt caresses Blaine’s head and closes his eyes for a minute. He’s completely overwhelmed. Tears are gliding down his face and he doesn’t even bother wiping them. He’s never been that guy to show his emotions in public, but this… he can’t help this. 

His friends try to pretend they don’t notice what’s going on, but he knows they do, he just doesn’t care about showing his vulnerability right now. He can’t. He crouches down and cradles Blaine’s head in his hands.

‘Blaine.’ His voice is hoarse. ‘Blaine.’ He presses their foreheads together once more and then they’re both sobbing, holding on to each other, trying to get a grip, but failing.

‘Breathe, baby, please.’ Kurt bites his lips. He can’t fall apart now. Blaine needs him. ‘I’m here now, baby, I’m here for you. Breathe.’

*

They get some breakfast together, sitting by the fire, telling their mutual experiences of the past few days. Jeff is happy and talkative, sitting next to Nick and beaming at him once in awhile. He’s not hurt too badly, Cooper took care of both him and Blaine while they were in the camp, so all they are left with are some minor scrapes and bruises. He’s still hurt from before though, so he’s not that mobile yet.

Blaine sits next to Kurt, quietly. He eats the oatmeal Tina has made them, but he doesn’t even taste it. He’s anxious and on edge and he just can’t wait to touch Kurt. He needs to be with him in that way, but he can’t right now. Not with all of their friends sitting right next to them. 

He’s calmed down from before though, he just lost it when he saw Kurt again after all he’s been through. He still has this aching feeling though and he gets lost in his head while the others are sharing stories and telling jokes.

Kurt nudges his elbow. ‘Hey, you okay?’

Blaine nods, but when he turns his head to look at Kurt he knows his eyes are telling another story. As he takes in Kurt’s face, his weary eyes and tired smile, he know he’s not the only one feeling lost.

Kurt touches his fingers lightly. ‘Later tonight. Okay?’ He whispers.

Blaine takes in Kurt’s profile, he watches him trembling from the fever that is still roaming around in his body and it takes all of his willpower not to yank him up and take him with him to whatever place he can get him alone.

He leans a little closer instead. ‘Later,’ he confirms.

After breakfast they all clean up together and then Santana sits them down again for a meeting.

‘Look you guys, just to get everything straight: we’re splitting up right here. Most of us are going to the camp Cooper has told us about, we’ve got the coordinates with us. Noah’s going to accompany us there to make sure we don’t get lost. It’s unknown territory and we can use the extra skills.’ She glares at Quinn who huffs but doesn’t say anything.

‘Some of us need to go back to our own settlement to get the ones who stayed behind. They’ll get to choose if they come to the new camp with us or not, but I’m sure there will be quite a few, Mercedes and Brittany being some of them.’

Nick nods. ‘Wes and David will be coming to, I’m sure.’

Santana continues. ‘Blaine and Jeff will be going to the new camp immediately. Like I said, Noah is going too so he can help us out with the coordinates and unknown territory. I think it’s best if Mike goes with them, so they’ll have a medic at all times. Tina, you can go with the other group, in case they need you there.’ She looks around the group of people. ‘Kurt, you’re going to the new camp as well, you’ll come in handy to defend them, make sure you’ve got enough arrows when we leave. Nick, you too.’ She makes a faint gesture in his direction, but doesn’t offer any further explanation and Nick is glad he’s getting to go with Jeff.

‘That leaves me and Quinn to go with you Tina. We’ll leave after lunch. Get yourselves ready, don’t forget to pack up your gear and extra arrows. Sharpen your knives, we might need them. Questions?’

They all stay quiet and Santana stands up and gestures the meeting is over.

They all go pack up their belongings and gather the stuff they’ll need for the trip. Mike and Nick will take care of lunch today and Blaine has some repairing to do where it comes to their weapons, so after he’s done packing and checking his arrows Kurt wanders around the area for a bit. He finds Jeff at the edge of the nearby creek.

‘Hey man.’

‘Hey Kurt. Care to join me?’

Jeff is sitting near the water, his back leaning against a tree. Kurt sits down next to him.

‘You okay?’ He takes in Jeff’s pale face.

‘I’m good. Just a little shaky from all that has happened though. You?’

‘I’m fine.’ 

Jeff looks at him sideways. ‘You and Blaine. You haven’t gotten any alone time yet, have you?’

Kurt shifts a little. He concentrates on the streaming of the water. It’s peaceful.

‘Uhm, no.’

Jeff looks in front of him again. ‘Kurt, you can talk about it. It’s okay. I’m fine with it. I’ve known Blaine for a long time. He’s my friend. It’s fine.’

Kurt sighs. ‘I’m sorry. This is all so new to me. I’m not sure who to trust and who not to. I don’t know who I can talk to. I don’t know if I want to.’

‘I understand. Just know, if you want to talk, I’m here. I won’t judge.’

‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome.’

They’re quiet for a while. They both listen to the noises of the forest nearby and in the distance. Then Jeff glances at him again.

‘Kurt?’

‘Yeah?’

‘How did you know? I mean, you and Blaine. How did you know?’

Kurt shreds a leaf slowly into tiny little pieces. ‘I don’t know. Something was just… there. It took me a while to acknowledge I have feelings for him, but something has always been there.’ He glances at Jeff. ‘Why do you ask?’

Jeff blushes. ‘You know, me and Nicky.’ He coughs. ‘We’ve been friends forever. I really mean like: forever. I’ve known him all my life.’ He’s quiet for a bit after that and Kurt doesn’t press him. 

Suddenly he breaks the silence again. ‘We’ve always been close friends. Always. He’s always there when I need him. I...he’s always there, you know? I didn’t question it.’ He looks out over the water. ‘These past few days…’ He pauses again. Then he continues, quietly. ‘I really missed him.’ 

Kurt doesn’t interrupt him, so he continues.

‘It wasn’t even the fear of getting captured, being hurt, all of those things. I missed Nick, you know? Being with him. Talking to him.’ He glances at Kurt again.   
‘I’ve never been interested in girls, not the way I was supposed to. I didn’t question it though, I thought I hadn’t met the right one, you know? I thought one day it would happen. The past months though, watching you and Blaine, I recognized something there. It made me think, but… I guess I didn’t let myself think about it too much. I was scared, to feel what I’m feeling. I just realized these past few days… being with Nick... it has been enough for me all this time. I mean, I don’t need anyone else. It’s him, Kurt. It’s always been him and I didn’t even realize it up until now.’

Now he’s started he doesn’t seem to be able to stop and Kurt lets him talk.

‘Me and Nick, we’ve always been tactile with each other, hugging and cuddling and stuff. Nothing more, I’m sure nobody ever paid any attention to it. We didn’t question it ourselves, we’ve always been that way. I’ve been thinking though…’ He swallows. ‘I think I want more, man, I want more than that.’ 

His fingers make a fist and he lets out a deep breath and stretches them again. ‘I know a lot of people think that two men being together is wrong, but… all I can think about now is him and how can it be wrong when it feels so right?’ He’s got tears in his eyes now and Kurt grabs his shoulder. 

‘Hey. If it feels right to you, it’s alright. Trust me.You’re not doing or feeling anything wrong.’

Jeff tries to bite back his tears. They stay quiet for a while. 

‘I don’t know how he feels about it, though. Maybe it’s completely different for him. Maybe he just sees us as friends and nothing more.’ Jeff wipes his eyes.

‘Talk to him, Jeff. He’s been such a close friend to you all these years, he knows you. He won’t judge you; even if it’s not the same for him.’

‘You think so?’ Jeff’s voice is still a bit shaky.

Kurt nudges his shoulder. ‘I know so. Nick is an amazing guy and he’s okay with me and Blaine, so… why wouldn’t he be okay with you?’

‘I hope so.’ Jeff talks quietly. ‘Thanks Kurt.’

‘Anytime, man.’

*

After lunch they sit by the fire for another minute and Kurt decides to get some space for him and Blaine. They really need this.

‘Hey you guys, I just wanted to ask… Well…’

‘Spit it out, Kurt.’ Quinn takes another sip from her tea.

Kurt brushes his fingers across Blaine’s hand again.‘Uhm, well, me and Blaine would like to stay here for another night.’ He coughs. ‘We’ll catch up with you guys later on.’

He stares into the fire and avoids all the curious glances. He doesn’t notice Mike and Santana exchanging a look.

There’s a brief silence and then they all start talking at once. 

‘Won’t it be dangerous?’ Tina.

‘You’ll be unprotected and Blaine is still injured.’ Quinn.

‘Will you guys be able to find us after?’ Nick.

Then Santana raises her voice. ‘It’s okay you guys.’ They all quiet down at that. ‘They need this.’

Tina is not convinced. ‘But…’

‘It’s fine, Tina.’ Mike interrupts her. ‘Let them.’

Kurt gives him a shaky smile.

Santana looks around the circle. ‘We just need a solution to keep you guys safe, Quinn is right, Blaine is still injured and when something happens, you’re out here alone, Kurt.’

They all start blabbing again, until Noah speaks up. ‘I’ll stay with them.’ Everyone turns to look at him. 

‘What?’ He shrugs. ‘Don’t have anything better to do. We can spend another night and catch up with you guys in the morning. You won’t be fast anyway, Jeff can still barely walk, so we’ll get to you by night fall.’

Santana turns to look at Kurt and Blaine. ‘Okay with you guys?’

They both nod. ‘Yeah.’ 

‘That’s settled then.’

Kurt looks at Blaine and the smile that reaches his eyes is all he needs.

*


	7. Chapter 7

Noah trails around the makeshift camp to gather some more branches for the fire. He hums a song under his breath and takes in Blaine who’s slouched against Kurt near the fire.

‘You might want to take a bath.’ He points at Blaine. ‘With all the injuries and stuff. You should be careful not to get them infected by your colors.’

Blaine sits a little straighter, but he’s still pretty out of it. 

Kurt hums. ‘He’s right, you know. Maybe you can sleep a bit after, you look exhausted.’

Noah keeps walking around while pointing in a certain direction behind the trees. ‘You can bathe in the stream over there. I’ll keep an eye out. You should be safe.’

Kurt stands up and holds his hand out for Blaine to take. Blaine glances at Noah, but he doesn’t seem fazed at all, so he takes Kurt’s hand and follows him between the trees.

*

As soon as they’re out of sight Blaine trails his fingers up Kurt’s arm. ‘God, Kurt, I need some time alone with you. I really, really needed this. Thank you for handling it.’

Kurt sighs in relief. ‘I need it too, Blaine. God, I need it too.’

He tugs Blaine a little closer as they approach the stream. ‘Come on, baby, let me help you.’

He smiles at Blaine and starts to take of his clothes. Blaine just stands there and lets him. He shivers all the way through and Kurt is still worried about the fever. Blaine traces the lines of worry on Kurt’s forehead. 

‘Hey, we’ll be fine.’

‘I know, but.. this fever, baby…’

‘It’ll pass. We need to reconnect, Kurt.’ Blaine tangles their fingers. ‘We’ll be fine.’

Kurt nods as he starts removing his own clothes, but Blaine bats his hand away. ‘Let me, sweetie.’

They’re both silent as Blaine takes off Kurt’s clothes and takes his hand to lead him to the water. They haven’t kissed yet. This thing between them seems so heavy, they’re both afraid once they begin, they won’t be able to stop and they need to be careful.

‘Come on, baby.’ Kurt reaches his hand out to Blaine, once he’s in the water. 

Once Blaine has joined him, Kurt takes a cloth they brought with them and starts washing Blaine. The rustling of the water soothes them both. It’s quiet here. It feels so god damn intimate it has Blaine shaking again in no time. 

When Kurt moves a bit closer he feels Blaine’s arousal and he’s very aware of his own but he discards it and keeps still while Blaine cleans his body in return. He admires the colors on Blaine’s skin and the way his muscles move while he’s working. He closes his eyes for a bit and is startled when Blaine caresses his cheek.

‘I missed you so much, Kurt.’ He swallows. ‘I tried not to think about you, because if I would… I would have lost it, sweetie, I really would have.’

Kurt nods. ‘I know, baby, I know.’

He leans in and brushes his lips over Blaine’s. It makes him moan quietly.

Blaine is leaning against him, all shaky and vulnerable and Kurt feels his arousal once again. 

He trails his fingers over Blaine’s skin. ‘Let me take care of you, Blaine, let me make you feel good.’

Blaine tips his head back a bit and Kurt whispers in his ear. ‘I’ll make you relax, baby, just let go for a minute.’

He grabs Blaine’s cock and starts stroking slowly. Blaine’s breathing gets heavy and he holds on to Kurt’s shoulder tightly.

Kurt speeds up his movement and he hears the other man sobbing quietly. He whispers softly in his ear, trying to soothe him.

Blaine bites down Kurt’s shoulder when he comes and Kurt grabs him tightly to hold him up. Blaine feels his knees give out and he slouches against Kurt as he comes down slowly. He nuzzles his head against Kurt’s neck and tries to find his breath again.

He whispers. ‘All better now.’

Kurt smiles at that and takes Blaine’s hand again. ‘Come on I’ll dry you off.’ They leave the water and once they’re dry they put on each other’s clothes carefully.

Kurt’s hands linger on Blaine’s body. ‘Does it hurt a lot?’ He watches the bruises under Blaine’s war colors.

Blaine flinches under Kurt’s touch. ‘It’ll get better.’ Then he hesitates. ‘Kurt?’

‘Hmm?’

‘Tonight, I need you to… uhm… can you....’ He fidgets at the hem of his shirt. 

Kurt grabs his hand. ‘What?’

Blaine looks away.

‘You need me to… touch you? Because I will, you know, there’s no doubt about it.’

Blaine closes his eyes for a minute. ‘I need you to… to push me just a little. Just a little, so I can relax, I mean… I know I seem all tough and stuff, but sometimes I need someone to take care of me too, you know? I feel like I can’t show any weakness, being a warlord and all. These colors all over my body kind if force me to be the tough guy, but…’

Kurt understands. ‘Hey, everyone needs a safe place, Blaine. Everyone needs a place they can be vulnerable. Don’t worry about it. I want to be that for you.’ He moves a little closer, pressing a small kiss on Blaine’s temple.

‘I can be that for you, baby.’

Blaine nuzzles his neck again and smiles. ‘Come on, let’s get back to Noah.’

*

Blaine, Kurt and Noah sit together at the fire for a while, talking and laughing about everything and nothing. Kurt is glad Blaine seems to feel somewhat better and he’s glad they can enjoy the moment, no worries for a while. Blaine is exhausted after the bath though and eventually he falls asleep on Kurt’s shoulder.

Kurt and Noah talk quietly. 

‘Is he okay?’ Noah gestures at Blaine.

‘Yeah, he’s fine.It’s just… he’s been through a lot, he’s drained.’

‘I’m talking about…’ Noah coughs. ‘I’m talking about the fever, Kurt.

‘Oh.’ He shifts a bit. ‘You noticed, huh?’

Noah drums his fingers on the trunk he’s sitting on. ‘Yeah.’ 

They’re silent for a minute. Then Noah continues.

‘I’ve seen a lot while I’m away tracking, Kurt. I’ve seen some of these things too. I know about… about the bonding thing.’ He looks straight at Kurt. ‘You know too, right?’

‘Yeah, Mike talked to me about it. You’re uh… you’re okay with it?’

Noah chuckles. ‘The bonding thing or the gay thing?’

Kurt blushes at that. ‘Both?’

‘You’re my friend, Kurt. I may seem like a caveman sometimes, but… yeah. If it makes you happy, I’m good with it.’

Kurt releases a sigh of relief.

‘There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about, though.’ Noah takes a deep breath. ‘Blaine.’ He glances at him quickly. ‘He seems uh, a little out of it.’

Kurt grips Blaine a little tighter. ‘He’s been through a lot. He’s hurt and he’s tired.’

Noah stares into the fire. ‘I know, Kurt. That’s not it, though. You see, when two people bond like you did, they have this special kind of connection and it’s really amazing, but sometimes it also triggers something, something that has been there all along, simmering under the surface, waiting to come out. The bond can speed up the process. I think that’s what happened to Blaine. I mean, I don’t know the guy, but I’ve talked to Nick earlier on, because he’s been his friend for years and he knows him pretty well. I recognized Blaine’s behavior, I know what it’s like and he’s gonna need you, that’s why I wanted to talk to you.’

Kurt looks at him with wide eyes. ‘What on earth are you talking about?’ 

Noah looks at him, his gaze soft and earnest. ‘I think Blaine is submissive, Kurt.’

‘What?’

Noah holds out his hands. ‘Just hear me out, okay? It’s nothing bad. It’s just the way a person can be. It can be triggered by bonding, I mean, not everyone that has bonded is like that, but they can be. I’ve seen it before.’

Kurt furrows his brow. ‘How do you even know? Why do you suspect?’

Noah shrugs. ‘The way he looks at you, the way he holds himself when he’s near you. He’s goddamn restless right now, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He needs you to dominate him.’

Kurt swallows. ‘Dominate him?’

‘It’s not as bad as it sounds, Kurt. Don’t worry. You’ve got a natural dominance all over you, it’s there, you just haven’t given it any thought yet. Besides, domination means something different for everyone, it’s very personal, it doesn’t need to be hardcore.’

They’re silent for some time, while Kurt tries to let all this new information sink in. He doesn’t let go of Blaine for one moment, though.

Noah stands to throw some branches on the fire and sits down again.

‘How do you know so much about this?’ Kurt wonders.

‘I told you I’ve seen it before.’

Kurt is persistent though. ‘Where?’

Noah decides to be honest. ‘While being on the road, with other people. Sometimes… sometimes when I look in the mirror.’

Kurt looks up at that. ‘You’re submissive?’

Noah nods slowly. ‘Yeah. Very much so. Get over your prejudices here, Kurt. You can be tough and rugged and be submissive at the same time. Don’t look at the outside.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘That’s okay.’

‘Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, in case it gets to be an issue. In case he starts talking or asking about it.’

‘Actually…’ Kurt hesitates. ‘I think he already did. Earlier, by the stream? He asked me to… later tonight... to push him a little, so he can relax and let go.’ He blushes red at his admission.

Noah pretends not to notice. 

‘Yeah, I’m not surprised. I know it’s not for everyone, but I can see this work, Kurt. I mean, it can be great if you’re open to it. It really seems Blaine needs it and if you can give it to him… I mean, you two could really be great for each other. You just have to find a balance, you know? Blaine probably doesn’t want to show this in public, he’s a leader, he has to be responsible and tough all day long, he needs to care for his people. If he can come home to you at night though and you can take care of him like he needs to… It will get better in time, you know. At first it’s difficult, you need to find this sort of rhythm, like I said, a balance. I think for now, you did good by getting you two some alone time. He wasn’t going to last much longer. He’ll get sick when he doesn’t get what his body craves.’

They sit together by the fire for a while longer, enjoying the silence, while Kurt thinks things over. Eventually Noah gets up to get dinner started. 

‘Noah?’ Kurt looks up at him. ‘Thank you.’

‘Don’t mention it, man.’

Blaine wakes a little while after. 

“Kurt?’ He sits up and rubs his eyes. ‘I fell asleep? I’m sorry.’

‘Hey, no, that’s okay. Noah’s getting dinner ready, he told me not to get in his way, so how about we stretch our legs for a minute and take a walk?’

Blaine agrees. ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’

‘Don’t wander too far. Don’t want to come save your asses once again!’

Kurt waves at Noah, signaling that he heard him and he and Blaine disappear behind the trees.

*


	8. Chapter 8

‘You’re okay there, Jeff?’ Mike turns around and waits until Nick and Jeff have caught up with him. 

‘Yeah, I’m just getting tired. My leg is bugging me, I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t worry about it, man, let’s take a look.’ Mike kneels down and takes the bandages off Jeff’s leg. He hums. ‘It’s a bit swollen from walking. I recommend we make our camp here for tonight. You need to rest. We’ll continue in the morning.’

Jeff tries to bite back the pain while Mike puts a fresh bandage on. In the meantime Nick has put their gear down and has started setting up the tents.

‘I’ll get some wood to start a fire, guys.’ Mike gestures at Nick. ‘You stay with Jeff?’

‘Sure man.’

After a minute Nick sits down besides him and Jeff starts fidgeting, not sure where to leave his hands.

‘Hey, what’s up, man? You’re okay?’ Nick looks at him attentively. ‘You’ve been acting weird all day. Tell me.’

Jeff doesn’t chance to look at his friend. He might see the truth in his eyes.

‘Jeff. Talk to me.’

Damn, why does he have to be so perceptive?

Nick grabs his face and turns it towards him. ‘Jeff?’ 

Jeff sighs and finally looks his friend in the eye. ‘I just… I missed you, Nicky.’ He talks quietly, afraid to admit what he’s been feeling all this time.

Nick is still staring at him. ‘I missed you, too.’

There’s a silence between them that hasn’t been there before.

Jeff’s afraid to take the leap though, so he doesn’t. He looks away and keeps quiet until Mike returns with the firewood.

*

‘This meal was delicious Noah, thank you.’ Blaine takes a swig of his water and leans back.

‘You’re welcome, man.’ Noah scoots a little closer to the fire. ‘Kurt, want some more?’

‘No, thanks, Noah, I’m full. It was wonderful, thank you.’ Kurt slides a little closer to Blaine, and Blaine lets him. They’re safe with Noah, he can tell.

They talk some more, but an hour or so later Noah decides to call it a night. He set up his tent slightly further and waves at them as he leaves. ‘If you guys need me, I’m over there. Just… yeah…’ 

He throws a glance at Kurt and stands up to leave. ‘It might be a while until you get some alone time, so.. you know…’ He gestures a bit awkwardly. ‘Don’t mind me.’

‘Thanks Noah.’ Kurt really appreciates the gesture. 

It’s got Blaine blushing though and he curls into Kurt’s side. They stay like that for a bit more after Noah has disappeared, enjoying the warmth of the fire.

Eventually Kurt sits up. ‘We’re going to bed now, baby?’

Blaine just nods. He’s ready.

They get into the tent and make sure it’s closed properly. Then they start undressing each other slowly. They’re not in a hurry, they’ve got all night. Blaine trails his fingers along Kurt’s skin. He wants to remember this. Noah was right, God knows when they’ll have the opportunity to do this again without eyes and ears everywhere.

‘You’re god damn beautiful, Kurt.’

‘Blaine…’

‘It’s the truth. You are.’ His eyes roam all over Kurt’s body. He starts placing tiny kisses everywhere, his jaw, his neck, his chest. He rubs his thumb over one of Kurt’s nipples  
and he feels him shivering. The tiny nub stiffens and he places his mouth over it, biting, then letting his tongue soothe the sting.

Kurt sighs. ‘God, Blaine.’

Blaine just continues to explore. He licks and bites and gets Kurt all worked up. 

‘Blaine.’ Kurt moans his name and that just does something to Blaine. He grabs Kurt’s face and kisses him hard. Then he crawls into Kurt’s lap and starts rubbing against him. It feels wonderful.

‘Blaine, oh.’ Kurt seems to be lost for words as soon as Blaine starts mouthing down his jaw, but he tugs him closer and sets up a rhythm. Kurt presses his chest flush against him and they both get lost in their pleasure for a while. Then Kurt remembers what Blaine asked him to do.

‘Blaine. Blaine. Hold on.’ He creates a little distance between them by leaning backwards and looks at his lover. ‘What you said earlier. About… me pushing you. You still want that?’

Blaine flushes and looks down for a second, but then he straightens up and caresses Kurt’s cheek.

‘Yes, please.’ His eyes are wide and honest and it makes Kurt feel so many things he can’t express right now.

‘I know we need to talk about this elaborately at some point, Kurt, I do. For now, let’s make it work for tonight? I mean, if you want to.’

Kurt presses a light kiss on Blaine’s lips. ‘I want to. I just…I need you to tell me how to go about it, I mean… What do you want? How do you want it? Talk to me, baby.’ 

Blaine is quiet for a moment, than he takes a deep breath. ‘I’d like you to… hold me down for a bit?’ He looks down, but Kurt is having none of that. 

‘Hey now, don’t be like that, baby. Don’t be shy. I’m here for you, okay? Now, tell me what you need.’

Blaine nods and looks at Kurt while talking. ‘I’d like you to hold me down, to put your weight on me. I need you to ground me, Kurt. And… if it’s okay by you... ‘ He trails off.

Kurt tangles their fingers. ‘Blaine…’

‘I want you inside of me.’ Blaine looks up at Kurt. ‘Please, sweetie.’

Kurt swallows. ‘You sure?’

‘Yeah. If it’s okay for you, if that’s… if that’s something you want.’

‘Blaine, baby, I want to. I want to.’ Kurt holds him close. Then he starts kissing Blaine once more, starting up their rhythm again. Blaine is soon panting in his lap and that’s when Kurt flips him over so Blaine is beneath him. He grabs his hands and puts them over his head, pushing Blaine into their makeshift mattress. 

‘Oh, Kurt.’ It makes Blaine groan quietly into his ear.

‘Don’t hold back, baby. I know you’re trying to stay quiet. Don’t. I want to hear you.’

Blaine thrashes beneath him. ‘Noah.’ He manages to grunt quietly.

‘Don’t mind him, it’s fine. It’s fine, Blaine, let go.’

Blaine gets more relaxed after that. Kurt grinds into him and Blaine is all loose and pliant beneath him. His colors look beautiful on his tanned skin and it makes Kurt feel he’s exploring a canvas, a work of art. Suddenly Blaine bucks up when Kurt sucks and bites at his pulse point. 

‘Kurt.’ He groans. ‘Don’t want to come yet. Want you to fuck me. God, this feels so good. You feel so good, sweetheart.’

‘Don’t come yet.’ Kurt whispers in Blaine’s ear and the mild command makes Blaine get a little lost in his head again.

‘Blaine? Blaine, open your eyes, I need you here for a minute, baby.’

Blaine sighs softly, but he manages to look at Kurt.

‘I’m going to open you up, okay, baby? I’ll be really careful, okay? Just tell me if it gets too much. Blaine?’

Blaine manages to nod. ‘Yeah, fine.’

Kurt nudges him to turn over and then Blaine feels Kurt’s fingers entering him slowly and he’s all gone again. It’s painful at first, but then pain gives way to pleasure and he can’t stop writhing and moaning as Kurt’s fingers open him up so sweetly.

‘Kurt. Need more. Please.’

He’s vaguely aware of Kurt turning him over again and gently opening his legs a bit more. After that he senses a blunt pressure opening him up even further and he feels like he’s being ripped apart. 

Kurt whispers soothing words into his ears and soon his painful thrusts turn into something better than amazing. 

‘Oh, sweetheart. That’s so good. You’re making me feel so good.’ Blaine starts babbling and Kurt brushes his sweaty curls back. 

‘You’re doing great, baby, you’re so good for me. You’re so good for me.’

The praise makes Blaine glow inside and his orgasm starts creeping up on him.

‘Kurt. I need to come. Please, sweetie.’ Blaine’s breath is getting even more labored, trying to hold back and he feel like he’s going to explode.

‘Just a little more, Blaine, hold on.’ Kurt speeds up his thrusts and grabs Blaine’s legs, changing the angle. 

It makes Blaine cry out, because, holy hell, every thrust Kurt makes is hitting him just right.

‘Kurt, please, please.’

Kurt kisses him messily on the mouth and then whispers in his ear. ‘It’s okay, baby, come for me now.’

The moment Kurt gives him permission, Blaine’s orgasm hits him hard and he blacks out for a minute, lost in the moment.

When he comes to, Kurt is slowly caressing his face, nuzzling his neck.

‘Hey.’ 

‘Hey.’

‘You okay?’

‘Yeah, I… that was amazing, Kurt. Thank you.’

‘What for, baby?’

Blaine takes his hand and presses a kiss to his knuckles. ‘Not judging me. Being there when I needed you.’ He still feels a bit drowsy.

Kurt smiles at him sweetly. ‘I got you, baby.’ He reaches for a wet cloth and cleans Blaine up attentively. It makes Blaine blush just a little in spite of what they just did, because no other man has ever seen him like this and Kurt cleaning him up is so intimate he feels vulnerable all over again.

He trails his fingers along Kurt’s side. ‘Did you, uh, … I’m sorry I blacked out for a bit.’ He mumbles.

Kurt slides a little closer. ‘That’s okay, baby. It’s your body reacting to all these new sensations. Don’t worry about it.’

‘But did you…’ Blaine hides his face in Kurt’s neck. ‘Did you come?’ 

Kurt chuckles quietly. ‘Don’t get shy on me now! Yeah, I did come and it was wonderful, Blaine.’

Blaine smiles back at Kurt. ‘I want to take care of you, too. I’m too boneless and tired for another round though.’ He bites his lip. ‘Let me blow you in the morning?’

Kurt chuckles again and presses another kiss on his temple. ‘It would be my pleasure. Now get some sleep, okay?’ 

‘Yes, sir.’

Blaine turns around to be the little spoon and Kurt scoops him up in his arms, trying not to linger too much on what those last few words did to him. He lets the warm feeling spread in his chest and closes his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

*


	9. Chapter 9

‘So, I’m going off to bed, you guys. See you in the morning?’ Mike stands and stretches his legs for a moment, before taking off to his tent to get some sleep.

Nick and Jeff mumble goodnight and stay by the fire a bit longer. There’s some tension between them like there hasn’t been before and Jeff doesn’t like it, but he doesn’t know how to fix it.

He stretches his injured leg out in front of him and chances a glance at his friend. Nick is staring into the fire thoughtfully.

‘Jeff?’

‘Hmm?’ He tries to calm his racing heart by taking measured, even breaths.

‘When we talked earlier and you said you really missed me?’

‘Yeah?’ His voice does falter though.

Jeff averts his eyes. He has no idea where this is leading to.

‘What exactly did you mean by that?’

‘I.. uhm.’ Don’t panic.

He really doesn’t know how to go on.

Nick looks at him expectantly, but then he realizes he’s not getting any answers tonight.

‘Nicky, it’s getting late. Let’s get some sleep, yeah?’ Jeff tries to get up, but his leg is failing him miserably.

Nick puts his arms around him. ‘Okay, come on. Let’s get you up.’ He hoists Jeff upright and if his hands linger a bit longer than necessary, Jeff is certain it’s just all in his head.

They manage to get in the tent unharmed and they make themselves comfortable and scoot close to each other, trying to stay warm.

Once Jeff’s breathing has evened out and Nick is certain he’s fast asleep he slowly trails his fingers over Jeff’s cheek. He looks at his friend and tries to makes sense of it all. 

Just a few days ago, that was all they were, just friends. Now he had to spend days worrying sick about Jeff, realizing he’s been more than just a friend all along. He wonders if it’s like that for Jeff too. If maybe that was what he tried to talk to him about earlier. He’s afraid to take this leap though, he doesn’t want to mess up their relationship. He watches Jeff’s pale face in the moonlight and brushes back his hair. He scoots closer and spoons up behind him. They’ve spent the night like this before, it won’t alarm Jeff if they wake up like that. He takes another glance at his friend’s face and whispers in the silence of the night.

‘God, I’m so in love with you.’

*

Santana keeps hacking her way through the bushes trying not to hurt Quinn or Tina while doing it. They’ve been on this trail for two days, but they’ve finally found their way back to their camp. Another hour or so and they’ll be home again.

She stops for a minute and turns to her friends. ‘Take a break? I’m exhausted.’

Tina stops walking immediately and falls down on a broad tree branch that is laying on the ground. ‘God, I can’t feel my legs!’

Quinn takes out a bottle of water and passes it on to Tina after taking a large gulp herself. ‘Here, take a sip. Just a little more further, right San?’

‘Yeah, I know it’s not the best idea, but I’m going to sit for a minute anyway.’ Santana drops down next to Tina. 

Quinn keeps pacing in front of them, her hands on her sides, breathing evenly. ‘So, Blaine and Kurt.’

She’s got Santana’s full attention immediately. ‘What about them?’

‘Come on, San, we all know what that is about.’ Quinn stops and shrugs. ‘Its no big deal, not to me. Right Tina?’

‘She’s got a point there San. We all realize by now, I mean, they can hardly hide it.’

Santana gives in. ‘Okay, you’re right. We have their backs, though, right? I mean, when we arrive at this new camp, we don’t know all these people, we have to be careful. I don’t want anyone to sell them out.’

Tina chuckles. ‘I think they’re so cute together.’

‘They are.’ Quinn smiles. ‘It must be hard though, to love someone while the whole world is judging you. You never know who is going to approve. You might be beaten, hurt, lose your friends.’

‘We’ve got this, ladies. We’re with them, every step of the way. I’ll just keep an extra eye on them health-wise.’ Tina takes another swig of water. ‘This fever is a nasty thing. We’ll have to make sure they stay together for the coming weeks. It will get easier after that.’

Santana takes the bottle of water from her. ‘Yeah. I wonder what it feels like, to bond with someone. I don’t know if I would want that to happen to me, really.’ 

‘I’ve heard it can be really tough. So I say we be there for them, whenever they need us to. To talk, to defend them, to keep them safe.’ Quinn holds out her hand. ‘Pinky swear?’

Santana rolls her eyes. ‘Really?’ 

Quinn shoots her a look and Santana holds up her hands. ‘Alright, okay!’

The three girls stand up and make their promise.

‘Okay, girls, let’s get this show on the road!’ Quinn hoists her backpack up again. ‘Got to get back to my baby girl today.’ 

‘Yeah. I wonder how Brittanny is doing.’ Santana lends Tina a hand getting up and starts walking again. ‘Let’s go!’

 

*

They’ve been walking for five days and they’ve already should have found the camp by now. The group is getting restless and worried, but Noah doesn’t seem phased at all. After they’ve all come back together, Jeff’s been slowing them down quite a lot, as he can’t walk as fast as the rest of them yet and Noah’s certain they’ll reach the camp anytime now.

They hear a faint bird whistle in the distance and Mike perks up at that. 

‘It’s probably a scout from our camp you guys. Hopefully they’ve got some good news to bring our way.’ 

They pause for a moment to wait for the scout, who turns out to be David, light packed and hastening through the woods. 

They exchange hugs and pats on the back as soon as he reaches them and give him a minute to catch his breath before sharing the news.

‘Everyone’s good you guys. Quinn, Santana and Tina have reached the camp safely and they’re packing everything up as we speak. Beth, Brittany and Mercedes are coming with them and all of the Dalton boys have agreed to come, too. Then there’s the Wilson family, …’ He keeps listing people who want to join them in their new camp. ‘They’ll be here in a day or six, so you guys can just go ahead and they’ll be here as soon as they can.’  
The goods news gives them all some much needed fresh energy and a few hours later they finally, finally reach their destination. 

The first signs of their new home are brightly coloured ribbons that sway in the light breeze. It’s kind of a novelty because there’s not much time and energy to decorate these days, so nobody seems to bother. It kind of takes away some kind of lightness in life though. It’s nice to be welcomed like that.

As soon as they come closer to the new camp they hear voices and something that seems like music. A delicious smell is wafting through the trees and Kurt realizes a scout from their new camp must have spotted them and gave word to the people of their new home. Cooper assured them he would give them a heads up that they were coming, so they were expecting them anyway.

Kurt grabs Blaine’s hand a little tighter. They exchange a glance and smile at each other. This is it. A new start for both of them. Kurt hopes they will be welcome here.

When they approach the first houses he notices two women who are waiting to welcome them. One of them is a beautiful Asian woman with long black hair that is braided and has white flowers in it everywhere. She’s wearing some kind of fighting outfit, with camouflage pants and a black jacket. She seems fierce and sweet all at once. She’s holding the hand of another woman with light blonde, curly hair. 

Mike suddenly rushes towards them. He stands still in front of them, bows his head and presses a light kiss on the first woman’s hand. Then he stands up and gives her a tight hug. 

The group that is following him exchange confused glances once again. 

Noah chuckles at their astonished faces. 

‘Yeah, that would be his sister.’

Mike looks at his little sister with glistening eyes. ‘Caroline.’

She beams back at him. ‘Michael.’

She gives him another hug and looks at his companions. ‘Welcome. Welcome to all of you. We received word of Cooper that you were coming, we were already expecting you. Please, come in.’

She looks at all of them, one by one. ‘I’m Caroline, you can call me Kate though.’ She squeezes the hand of the woman next to her. ‘This is my wife, Jennifer.’

The other woman waves at them. ‘Hi. You can call me Jenny.’ 

They all look at them in wonder. Kate laughs. 

‘I know, there’s a lot to get used to. We’re handling things a little differently here.’

Nick huffs. ‘Can’t say I mind one bit at all!’

They all come closer and start exchanging names and handshakes. Kurt is still holding on to Blaine as Kate approaches them. Her eyes trail down, watching the boys tangled hands and she smiles at them.

‘Kurt? Blaine?’

They both nod, a little shy with all the attention.

She takes their hands. ‘Cooper told me about you guys.’ She takes them in for a moment and gives them both a soft look. ‘Welcome to your new home.’

 

*

Blaine takes Kurt a little closer into his arms. He presses a soft kiss on his head. ‘I can’t believe they gave us a cabin to sleep in. To live in. I mean, this is ours, Kurt, it belongs to both of us. This is our home now. I get to go to sleep with you every night and wake up next to you every morning. Every morning, sweetie. I just can’t believe it.’

They’re sitting in a rocking chair close to the fire, Kurt in Blaine’s lap, cuddling, being next to each other as close as they can get.

‘I know, baby. It’s a whole new world.’

Blaine hums in Kurt’s hair. ‘It is. Isn’t it?’ 

He caresses Kurt’s bare chest and thinks about all the things they just did, the intimate ways they touched each other. He feels warm and safe and so, so loved. The fever is gone now.

Blaine quietly talks. ‘I can’t wait to explore it with you Kurt. Our new home, our new life.’

He watches the fire for a bit.

‘You’re quiet.’

Kurt mumbles. ‘Afterglow.’

Blaine chuckles at that. ‘I love you.’

Kurt raises his head for a bit and looks in Blaine’s honey-colored eyes. He gives him a soft smile. ‘Love you too.’

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! See you next time!


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